Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Alabama Attorney General ‘Looking Into’ Prosecuting God for Miscarriages

LAKE SACDEDOUCHE, ALABAMA -- Alabama's governor has reportedly ordered her state's...

Alabama GOP Wants to Outlaw Scrambled, Fried, or Omelette Eggs

PORT TONTOCOMO UNACAJA DEROCAS, ALABAMA -- In a sleepy Alabama port...

Missouri Dems Propose Classifying Erections That Precede Abortions as Accessories to Murder

TRAPPEDIN, MISSOURI -- Democrats in the Missouri State legislature have proposed a...

Georgia Woman Turns Herself Into Authorities After Miscarrying

PARADIS CHAUVIN COUNTY, GEORGIA -- Authorities are confirming at the time...

McConnell: “Trump’s Not Above the Law, It Just Doesn’t Apply to Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters outside...

Trump Orders SCOTUS to Declare Him ‘More Co-Equaler’ Than Congress

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Unites States of America seems to be...

Alabama Celebrates First Fetal Wedding

RIO SIN DIENTES, ALABAMA -- In a sleepy Alabama town, preparations...

Alabama Democrats Want a 72-Hour Waiting Period on Incestuous Sex

FORT COQ DU CHAMPIGNON VÉNÉNEUX, ALABAMA -- In response to Republicans...

Georgia Woman Turns Herself Into Authorities After Miscarrying

PARADIS CHAUVIN COUNTY, GEORGIA -- Authorities are confirming at the time...

Mitch McConnell: “Trump’s Not Above the Law, It Just Doesn’t Apply to Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters outside...