Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Outraged Queen Elizabeth Was Watching CNN in the Throne Room When He Arrived

LONDON, ENGLAND -- Queen Elizabeth was sitting on her throne, speaking...

UK Protests of His State Visit Prompt Trump to Threaten “American Revolution II”

LONDON, ENGLAND -- The American president's state visit to the United...

Trump Says His First Lady Is ‘Way, Way, Way Hotter’ Than Meghan Markle

LONDON, ENGLAND -- President Donald Trump's state visit to the United...

Pro-Life Evangelical Wants to Officially Move Christmas to March

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and music sensation Jethro...

Alabama Decriminalizes Rape To Keep More Families Together

PALPATINE FOREST, ALABAMA -- In a truly unforeseen turn of events...

Texas Democrat Authors Bill That Would Sentence Masturbating Men to Death

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Republican lawmakers in the State of Texas are...

Texas Democrat Pushes Bill That Would Sentence Masturbating Men to Death

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Republican lawmakers in the State of Texas are...

Alabama Democrat Wants Mandatory Vasectomies Until Marriage

RÉCIPROQUE BAY, ALABAMA -- A Democrat in the State of Alabama...