Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Local Conservative Outraged at Liberal’s ‘Vulgar Display of Empathy and Compassion’

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Jethro Bohiggins is "sick and fucking...

MAGA Boy: “Why Do Migrant Kids Need to Bathe and Brush Their Teeth If I Don’t?”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster, YouTuber, and country music...

6 Scientific Ways To Tell If You’re Sitting Next to an A-Hole

Sciencetistically speaking, we are literally surrounded by a-holes. That's because Newton's...

White House Releases List of Upcoming Summer Concentration Camp Activities

Recently, the Donald Trump administration published a list of events and...

Trump’s Concentration Camps File for Chapter 11

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a largely unsurprising and non-shocking turn of...

GOP Rep: Obama’s Fictional FEMA Death Camps Much Worse Than Trump’s Actual Concentration Camps

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) told a conservative podcast...

Keurig Announces Roy Moore Signature Model That Only Uses 14-Year Old Covfefe Pods

READING, MASSACHUSETTS -- In 2017, coffee machine manufacturer Keurig faced steep...

DeVos Supports ICE Raids Because Her Drink Is Getting Warm

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Education Secretary Betsy DeVos told reporters today that...