Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

New Policy Dictates Babylon Bee Staff Crucify Themselves Daily in Front of Snopes Headquarters

The editors of The Babylon Bee -- a Christian Dominionist publication that uses...

The Klan Apologizes For Spelling Error In Pro-Trump Pamphlets

WHITE PLAINS, KANSAS -- A spokesman for the Ku Klux Klan...

Trump Accuses China Of Being A Chinese Hoax

WASHINGTON, D.C.  -- Since taking office, President Donald Trump has taken...

Trump Confident Putin Won’t Lose to Anyone on Democratic Debate Stage

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking to reporters on the south lawn of...

MAGA Boy Outraged No Democrat Screamed About Mexicans or Mentioned Which of Their Children They’d Bang During Debate

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins...

Trump Campaign to Hold Amazon Kindle Burning

WASHINGTON, D.C.  -- The President Trump re-election campaign has announced that...

Omar Offers to Pay to Send Rand Paul to a Real Hairdresser

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congresswoman Ilhan Omar (D-MN) is a lightning...