Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Black Man Tying Shoes Sends Tammy Lahren Into Rage-Induced Coma

DULLARD, TEXAS -- Representatives for right-wing firebrand conservative commentator Tabasco Lahren...

Local Holocaust Denier Outraged To Find Out Trump’s A Climate Denier Too

MINE CAMP, WEST VIRGINIA -- Chad Skeeter is a 37 year...

Putin Dictates Trump’s New Year’s Resolutions To Him

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Today, Russian President Vladimir Putin made a phone...

Roy Moore Says Elections Are ‘Like Teenage Girls,’ And Refuses To Pull Out Of Race He Lost

PEDURAST, ALABAMA -- Former Alabama judge Roy Moore lost a hotly...

All The Ways The Last Jedi Is A Totally New Departure For Star Wars And Nothing Like The Other Films

The fan reaction to the latest Star Wars movie has been mixed, to...

On 16th Tee, Trump Unveils New National Security Strategy Of “Ooga Booga Muslims!”

MAR-A-LAGO -- Not wanting to be accused of vacationing too much...

CDC Reports 65% Fewer “Happy Holidays” Related Heart Attacks This Christmas Weekend

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump declared victory for the forces...

Tomi Lahren Wants NASA To Rename Black Holes Because ‘All Holes Matter’

VAPID VALLEY, TEXAS -- Conservative right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News...

Trump Declares South Electoral College Winners Of Civil War

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Just hours after triumphantly declaring a victory in...