Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

5 Reasons Trump’s Undocumented Workers Are Safe from ICE Raids

Recently, in Mississippi, officers and agents from Immigration and Customs Enforcement...

Trump Rescinds Statue of Liberty Poem

In Trump's America, the Statue of Liberty isn't looking for huddled masses, unless they're white, Christian, and from European countries.

Hasbro to Release”Trumpnopoly” Game Where the Point is to File Bankruptcy and Dodge Taxes

PAWTUCKET, RHODE ISLAND -- During a quarterly conference call with investors,...

President’s Reelection Campaign Unveils New White Pointed MAGA Hoods

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2016, the Donald Trump/Vladimir Putin campaign helped...

Billy Joel Says McConnell Was Inspiration for “Only the Good Die Young”

NEW YORK STATE OF MIND, NEW YORK -- Singer/songwriter and piano...

5 Names to Add to the “Clinton Body Count”

When it was discovered that alleged billionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein had...

House Republican: Hillary Clinton Behind Epstein’s Death and His Dog Being Run Over While Chasing a Truck

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Tom Thompaulsen (R-AR) is convinced that former...

Local Man Loses Track Of Which Mass Shooting It’d Be Inappropriate To Talk About Gun Control After

"Was it the one yesterday, or earlier this week...last month? Shit. I can't remember."