Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

White House Transcript of Ukraine Call Leaks

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States, President Donald...

Trump Orders Secret Service to Confiscate Greta Thunberg’s Staring Daggers

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- President Donald Trump has ordered the...

Mouth Breathing, Knuckle Dragging Moron Mocks Girl Ten Times Smarter and Accomplished Than He’ll Ever Be

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins...

Trump Wishes Greta Thunberg Would Speak at Third Grade Level So He Could Mock Her Intelligence

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, 16 year old climate activist Greta Thunberg...

Nancy Pelosi Still Can’t Find Her Constitutional Authority to Hold Trump Accountable

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- She knows she left it somewhere. She had...

Studies Show Mitch McConnell in Unique Position to Help U.S. Fund Medicare For All

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A nonpartisan coalition of economists has published the...

Chamber of Commerce: White Sheet Sales Up 72% Since January 2017

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce announced on Monday that retailers across...

Trump: Putin Likes Watching Him Collude With Other Foreign Leaders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Toadstool Phallus assured a nervous and worried...

President Warns Americans Not To Interfere In Next Election By Voting For The Democrat

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though there are still several months left before...

President Assures Skeptics Putin Gave Him Permission to Collude With Ukraine This Time

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As buzz grows on the Hill surrounding reports...