Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Man Sees Jesus in 7-Eleven Holiday Cup

COPA MILAGRO, NEW MEXICO -- Grant Tabor is a lifelong resident...

Report: Nikki Haley Lives in Opposite Land Where Trump Tells the Truth and She’s Smart

MENTEUR SAC DE MERDER, SOUTH CAROLINA -- Sources close to situation...

Kellyanne Conway Plans to Move to South Dakota

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- White House Senior Lie Advisor Kellyanne Conway told...

Trump: “As Soon As I Heard I Was Caught by the Whistleblower, I Wanted Nothing!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump stepped out onto the White...

Giant Dumbfuck Just Can’t Stop Live-Tweeting His Own Impeachment Like The Dumbfuck He Is

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A former D-list reality TV host, a man...

Giant Dummy Just Can’t Stop Live-Tweeting His Own Impeachment Like The Dummy He Is

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A former D-list reality TV host, a man...

Gordon Sondland Passed His Bus Driver Exam Just Before Impeachment Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that,...

Nunes, Jordan Unsure Vindman’s Purple Heart as Patriotic as Their Orange Lips

WASHINGTON, D.C. --  Congressmen Gym Jordan and Devin Nunes, Republicans, are...

Trump Records Christmas Single for Charity: “White Power Christmas”

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA -- American record label U.S. Capitol Records announced this...