Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Norwegian Woman Would Never Live In ‘Any S_ _thole Countries’ Without Universal Healthcare

The world was shocked by the frank, obtuse, and obscene language...

Dear Grandpa and Mom: When Are You Two Going to Stop Fighting?

The following is an open letter submitted to this publication anonymously....

Trump Invokes “Epstein Loyalty Oath” and Lands Dershowitz for His Impeachment Defense Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump added two very high-profile...

Key Figures in Trump Ukraine Scandal Cast in Reboot of Classic American Movie

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- During an investor call this morning, the Executive...

Law Offices of Hannity, Limbaugh, & Bongino, LLP Offers Its Services to White House for Impeachment Trial

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The articles of impeachment against President Donald J....

Trump Urges Ivanka “Get Into the Scented Candle Thing” Too

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Never someone to pass up a good marketing...

Trump: “They Better Call The Witnesses Who Can Exonerate Me and Who I’m Forbidding to Testify!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An angry President Trump lashed out at Congressional...

Friends Say Now They Understand Why Vince Vaughn’s Hands Smell Like He Doesn’t Use Toilet Paper to Wipe

Friends of alleged actor Vince Vaughn are telling various media outlets...

Local Knuckle Dragging Moron Mocks Girl Ten Times Smarter and Accomplished Than He’ll Ever Be

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins...