Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Biden Commits to Unveiling Trump Presidential Portrait in Nearby Landfill

Former Vice President Joe Biden announced today that if he wins...

Eric Trump Says Mail-In Ballots ‘Unfairly Silence’ Women Voters

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Despite the fact that he is...

Trump Threatens To Withhold Funding From Any State That Lets Democrats Vote

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Elections in this country are run and officiated...

Obama Gives Biden Access Codes for FEMA Camps and Stockpile of Confiscated Guns

SECRET SHARIA DUNGEON, THE LITERAL HELL -- During their weekly ritualistic...

Despite Lack of Rent, Obama Looking for ‘Less Racist and Stupid’ Place to Live

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former President Barack Obama announced today that he...

White House Admits It’s Been Feeding Trump Cheeseburgers and Calling Them Hydroxychloroquine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Trump dropped quite a bombshell on...

First Lady Ivanka Trump Signs Publishing Deal for Next Book “Riding Your Dad to Success”

Ivanka Trump is totally a great author, and she doesn't just get book deals because of who her famous, orange-skinned racist father is.

FDA Warns of Newly Discovered Hydroxychloroquine Side-Effect: Permanent Butthole Mouth

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though it's unclear whether it's true or not,...