Totally Bulls*it News

I Tried the New McMoron Combo Meal. 0/10

By no means would I call myself a "gourmet." Maybe a "gourmand," but I'm not really even sure about that. Whatever the label you...

Trump Pledges 10,000 Flotation Devices to ‘Help the Mexicans Survive’ Cinco de Mayo

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A perhaps confused President Trump began his day...

Trump Calls William Shatner to Wish Him Happy May The 4th

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, fans of the iconic film franchise Star Wars are...

Local Militia Group Preparing to Liberate Chick-Fil-A Dining Room From Coronavirus Lockdown

SISTER BANGER, KENTUCKY -- They don't know exactly when, but the...

Lincoln’s Ghost Offers to Take Trump on Tour of Ford’s Theater

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When President Donald J. Trump told Fox News...

Trump Promises to Defeat the Coronavirus With the Electoral College

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has vowed on multiple...

Armed Protesters Demand Their Right to Domestic Terrorism for Haircuts

DERP CITY, MICHIGAN -- Dozens of armed mouth-breathers stormed a local...

Bill Gates Offers to Buy and Delete Elon Musk

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Billionaire tech titan Bill Gates is reportedly close...

CDC Studying Effect of Presidential Rage Tweets About Confessed Criminal Traitors on COVID-19

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Newly unsealed legal documents in the case against...

Trump Campaign Sells Out $500 Candles That Smell Like President’s Butthole

WASHINGTON, D.C.  -- The Trump 2020 Re-Election campaign announced this weekend...

Roger Stone Wants Conjugal Visits With Trump’s Ass

WASHINGTON, D.C -- Last month, Federal District Judge Amy Berman Jackson...