Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Bill Gates Announces Windows COVID-19 Operating System

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- In just a couple of weeks, Microsoft will...

Poll: Majority of Americans Wish Trump’s Mom Had Been Pro-Choice

As the election draws closer, there's little doubt that President Donald...

GoFundMe Established to Pay Legal Fees for “Anyone Who Pisses in Donald Trump’s Face”

A crowdfund has been set up with a special, Trump-specific mission in mind.

Trump Declares Houses That Worship Him “Essential”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, the President of the United States of...

Ford CEO: Trump Wore Angry, Spray-Tanned, Vagina Necked, Racist Orangutan Mask on Factory Floor

YPSILANTI, MICHIGAN -- Jim Hackett, CEO of the Ford Motor Company,...

Ratcliffe Confirmed as Director of National Unintelligence

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just hours ago, Congressman John Ratcliffe of Texas...

Biden Commits to Unveiling Trump Presidential Portrait in Nearby Landfill

Former Vice President Joe Biden announced today that if he wins...

Eric Trump Says Mail-In Ballots ‘Unfairly Silence’ Women Voters

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Despite the fact that he is...