Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

White House Urges Americans to Perform Nightly Under-Bed Antifa Checks

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With so many challenges already facing Americans these...

Ginsburg: “Cancer Can’t Make Me Resign Until It Leaves The White House First”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2019, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg...

Trump Orders EPA Study On Effects Of Electrolytes On Plant Life

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump Administration ordered the Environmental Protection Agency...

Facebook Introduces “Bullshit” Post Reaction

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Longtime users of billionaire Mark Zuckerberg's...

Trump Suggests Adult Film Industry Rename ATMs to “Doing a McEnany”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, it's still not...

White House: Hospitals Must Send COVID-19 Data to Trump’s AOL Account

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to a new presidential edict signed just...

DeVos To Strike More Than 4.5 Billion Years Of Earth’s History From School Curriculum

New Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos wants history books to contain only the bare, biblical essentials and nothing else...literally.

Sources Confirm: President Trump Still Likes Russian Whore Piss And Wants To Fuck His Daughter

President Trump still definitely loves Russian prostitute urine and totally wants to bang his daughter, according to sources close to him.

Mickey and Minnie Mouse Sue Disney After Being Hospitalized With COVID-19 Symptoms

WHORELANDO, FLORIDA -- In what can surely be described as a...