Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

CDC Releases New Urgent Guidelines for “Safe and Healthy” Circle Jerking

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control have issued brand...

Trump Appoints Himself CEO of TikTok

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's no big secret on the Hill that...

Obama Appears on Fox News Opposing Masks

Today, former President Barack Obama appeared on Fox News and urged...

Trump Relinquishes Presidential Responsibilities in Democrat-Run Cities

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a press conference today, President Donald Trump...

State Department Officially Recognizes City of Slamdick as Capital of Thighland

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Owing to a "need to keep the president's...

Backside of Mount Rushmore Being Prepared for New Trump Bust

To the victors go the spoils, and Mount Rushmore is about to get spoiled, President Donald Trump style.

Local Idiot Still President

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The town idiot is still the President of...

TikTok Changes Name to COVID-19 So Trump Will Leave Them Alone

CULVER CITY, CALIFORNIA -- In an effort to fend off a...

Trump: “Ivanka and I Fell In Love With Thighland on Our Honeymoon”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump surprised the world and...