Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Senator Comrade Ron Johnsoninski Accuses Hunter Biden of коррупция

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Is Hunter Biden, the son of former Vice...

Cruz: “The Senate Must Fill Ginsburg’s Seat and Secure a Permanent Majority for the Overwhelming Minority”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Unsurprisingly, Congressional Republicans have been giving interviews and...

Romney Had Spine Removed So He Could Suck Trump’s Dick

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Shocking absolutely, positively nobody, Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah)...

Romney’s Got Binders Full of Excuses for Being a Partisan Cocksock

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump appeared to get...

Taliban Endorses Judge Amy Coney Barrett for Supreme Court Justice

AFGHANISTAN -- The Taliban have issued the following statement, in their...

Cruz: “The Biden Rule Only Applies to Black Democrat Presidents”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If one goes looking for the so-called "Biden...

UPDATE: Mitch McConnell Still a Certifiably Racist, Wet-Eyed, Wattle-Necked Cuntsicle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In our continuing endeavor to provide our readers...

Mike Pence Explains How Ripping Wombs Out of Immigrant Women is Pro-Life and Not Permanent Abortion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning Vice President High Priest Michael Pence...

Mob Storms Local Taco Bell Demanding Mexican Pizzas

FORT PHARDT, INDIANA -- An angry, maksed mob appeared at a...