Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Pre-Declares Premature Victory

"That is a really terrible, ridiculous thing to ask me, and frankly you should be in prison for even thinking you have the right to speak to me that way."

Ratcliffe: “Putin Has Assured Me Hunter Biden’s Laptop Isn’t Russian Disinformation”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning former Congressman John Ratcliffe, Director of...

Trump Tweets ‘Hilarious’ Babylon Bee Article That Uses The N-Word 735 Times “Satirically”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the White House...

Lindsey Graham Spotted Rushing to White House With UV Light and Colonoscopy Hose

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The frantic, urgent exclamations could be heard throughout...

Ivanka: “How Come Debates Are the Only Things Daddy Can Pull Out Of?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Actual First Lady was, according to several...

Pence Just Realized Sucking Trump Off So Much Cost Him Valuable Talking Time During Debate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A pink-eyed, exasperated Vice President High Priest Mike...

World’s Toughest, Strongest Alpha Male Chickens Out of Second Debate With Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the presidential debate commission announced that...

Senate Republicans Fear Dems Will Smear Amy Coney Barrett With Her Own Actions, Words, and Religious Beliefs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Next week, the Senate Judiciary Committee, under chairmanship...