Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Ivanka: “America Needs the Leadership of Small Hands and Even Smaller Genitals”

OLD BALLS, FLORIDA -- Addressing a rally for her father, held...

Man Regrets His Early Vote for Hunter Biden’s Laptop

KOCKWAHRT, RHODE ISLAND -- There is an old phrase you probably...

Merriam-Webster Redefines the Word “Cunty”

The fact of the matter is that English, like all language,...

Brett Kavanaugh Had Really Wrong Idea Why Some Call Amy Coney Barrett a “Super Spreader”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- To be fair to him, Justice Brett Kavanaugh...

Justice Barrett Gets Permission from Husband to Start First Day on Supreme Court

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All the hearings had been held. All the...

McConnell: “I’ve Always Been Very Consistent With Supreme Court Nominations. From White Republicans.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For eight years, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell...

FBI Investigating Contents of Eric Trump’s See ‘n Say

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A truly stunning announcement was just made by...

KKK ‘Outraged, Devastated, and Hurt’ Trump Gives Proud Boys All The Attention

COUSIN DOINK BAY, MISSISSIPPI -- The first presidential debate between former...

Giuliani Insists He Was Just Going to Tuck-In His Shirt to Completion

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Stumbling up to a throng of...