Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

5 Ways Donald Trump Can Still Win The Election

The 2020 election came and went. At times, it seemed like...

On Biden’s Inauguration Day, Trump Plans to Fill Air Force One With Supporters and Fly to Guyana

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On January 20th, 2021, at 12:00pm ET, President-elect...

Hey! Check Out This Super Rich White Guy’s Take on Being Nice to Hateful Bigots.

What a good lookin', rich, white guy this guy is, eh?...

Ghosts of Christmases Past, Present, Future Confirm McConnell Has No Soul to Save

"Quite frankly, I'd rather take a shot at saving Satan himself,"...

5 Christmas Gifts That Will Help The Special Cultist In Your Life Process Losing an Election

Christmas is on the way, and the waterfowl are beginning to...

In Fake Hearing, Giuliani Claims Hunter Biden’s Laptop Voted 80 Million Times

PHARTSALOT, PENNSYLVANIA -- Things are getting, for lack of any better...

Trump Campaign Legal Team to Ask Supreme Court to Set Aside Election, Constitution, Democracy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- His options are dwindling. Time is running out....

Santa Claus Says Americans Already Got This Year’s ‘Big Gift’ on November 3rd

THE NORTH POLE -- In just 20 days, Kris Kringle, otherwise...

Nervous Ivanka Asks President Daddy If She’d Get Secret Service Protection in Jail

Did Ivanka Trump illegally steer money earmarked for her dad's presidential...

Trump Administration Rushing to Install Its Derp State Operatives to Sabotage Biden’s Agenda

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the past four years, Donald Trump has...