Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Supreme Court Decides: ‘Fuck Trump’s Feelings’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In three days, the Electoral College will meet...

Trump’s Lawyers Ask Supreme Court to Declare His Hands and Genitals ‘Normal’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The outgoing president isn't done filing lawsuits with...

TIME Magazine Names Trump ‘Sore Loser Crybaby Bitch of the Year’

This week, TIME Magazine named President and Vice-President-elect Joe Biden and...

106 Republican Congressmen Order Eggs Benedict for Caucus Breakfast

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Something rather extraordinary happened this morning. Over one...

Trump Sues Trump Campaign for Losing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the course of his single term as...

20 States Sue Texas for Being Embarrassing Morons

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Twenty individual states have filed an emergency countersuit...

While Biden Is Sworn In, Donald Trump Wants Air Force One Packed With Supporters He’ll Fly to Guyana

Sister publication Alternative Facts reported this week that President Donald Trump has some...