Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Mike Pence Plans to Leave D.C. and Move In Next Door to Trump’s Ass

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While most Americans have been keeping a close...

Dr. Jill Biden Prescribes Wall St. Journal Opinion Writer ‘1000mg of Shut Your Pie Hole’

This past weekend, social media was abuzz after The Wall Street Journal published...

Trump Demands Electoral College Make Joe Biden Repeat His Senior Year

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Electoral College meets today to officially declare...

Supreme Court Rules the Constitution Still Takes Precedence Over Presidential Egos

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, the Supreme Court put what could...

Supreme Court Decides: ‘Fuck Trump’s Feelings’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In three days, the Electoral College will meet...

Trump’s Lawyers Ask Supreme Court to Declare His Hands and Genitals ‘Normal’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The outgoing president isn't done filing lawsuits with...

TIME Magazine Names Trump ‘Sore Loser Crybaby Bitch of the Year’

This week, TIME Magazine named President and Vice-President-elect Joe Biden and...

106 Republican Congressmen Order Eggs Benedict for Caucus Breakfast

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Something rather extraordinary happened this morning. Over one...