Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Mexico Issues $0.00 Check For Final Wall Payment

This story was first published on Alternatively Facts, and is reprinted below...

Cruz Will Insist That Congress Certify He Has an Ugly Wife and No Balls

This story first appeared on The Pastiche Post and is reprinted with permission. Before...

Mexico Offers to Pay for Trump’s Moving Vans

THIS STORY WAS REPUBLISHED WITH DIRECT PERMISSION FROM SISTER PUBLICATION THE...

Biden Cancels White House’s Adderall Subscription from Amazon Prime

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though he doesn't officially take over as president...

Trump Wants Congress to Declare Him President of the Confederacy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before becoming the 45th most intelligent President of...

Trump Already Broke New Year’s Resolution to Not Be a Fucking Moron

His friends and family, and even close political advisers, all warned...

Mexico Offers to Pay for Trump’s Movers

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The Mexican government has offered to foot...

Stephen Miller Disappointed to Find Out His New Employer Doesn’t Offer Healthcare or 401kkk

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, soon to be former White House...

Can Donald Trump Just Park an RV in the White House Driveway for Four Years?

Recently, our sister publication Alternative Facts published a story we just had to...