Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Mitch McConnell Buys Aunt Jemima Syrup But Puts the Bottle in the Back of the Cart

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell was recently spotted...

Ivanka: “Why Would Daddy Excite an Erection When He Knows That’s My Job?”

LAKE PARIAH, FLORIDA -- Life after her father left the White...

AOC Reiterates She’ll Never Fuck Anyone Who Writes For the Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- No matter how many attempts at satire they...

High Energy Alpha Male Too Chickenshit to Testify Under Oath About the Insurrection He Started

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the late 1990's President William Jefferson Clinton...

Colin Kaepernick Would Like a Word With Jim Jordan About “Cancel Culture”

SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA -- Former NFL quarterback and activist Colin Kaepernick...

Man in MAGA Hat Burning Cross Says Democrats Are the ‘Real Racists’

WALLACE, GEORGIA -- A man in a MAGA hat burning a...

Alabama Teenager Rushed to Urgent Care With Uncle’s Baby In Her Eye

COU-ROUGE COUSIN SEXE PARISH, ALABAMA -- Doctors and attending staff in...

Space Force Releases Initial Cost Estimate to Yeet Matt Gaetz Into The Sun

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The United States Space Force released a study...