Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Impeachment: Hawley Says He Hasn’t Heard Convincing Evidence From Within Trump’s Peepee Hole

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- From his vantage point, Senator Josh Hawley (Q-MO)...

Gina Carano Identifies As Unemployed

HOLLYWOOB, CALIFORNIA -- Alt-right Nazi sympathizer, former human punching bag, and...

“Cat Lawyer” Added to Trump’s Shortlist of New Legal Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rumors are spreading wildly as it seems Trump is...

Trump Replaces Impeachment Legal Team With Lionel Hutz

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All in all, the general takeaway from the...

Babylon Bee Staff Identify as Comedians Though They Share Only One Joke Between Them

In practice, they're a cadre of Christofascists who wrap their theocratic...

Rich Guy Taking Six Figure Paycheck From Taxpayers Wonders If Taxpayers Need More Stimulus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Ron Penis (Q-WI) told his colleagues on...

Lindsey Graham Insists Conviction in Second Impeachment Won’t Remove Him From Trump’s Rectum

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Lindsey Graham, speaking to reporters this morning...

Nation’s Airports Suffering From Revolutionary War Travel Numbers

DENVER, COLORADO --  A recent study done on our nation’s airports...