Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

House Republicans Urging States to Rush Kids Back Into Potential School Shootings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The country cannot afford to keep kids out...

Trump Was Disappointed His Vaccine Didn’t Also Cover Windmill Cancer or Bone Spurs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During his long-winded open mic set at the...

Biden Cancels Traditional White House Flat Earth Day Festivities

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Thursday, April 22nd, 2021 will be the first...

Biden Directs Space Force to Stop Its ‘McDonald’s on the Moon’ Program

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Space Force will no longer be developing a...

Lie-Packed CPAC Speech Changes Nothing and Joe Biden is Still Trump’s President

In hindsight, former President Trump's closest advisers knew this was the...

5-Year-Old Anti-Vaxxer Pens Heart Warming Memoir

SPRINGFIELD, WASHINGTON -- Paige Johnson is 5 years old, and doctors...

ISIS Surprised By Popularity of Their Sign-Up Booth at CPAC

"Holy shit! This is absolutely insane! I never would have thought...

Matt Gaetz Tells CPAC He Won’t Let Trump ‘Pull Out Until He Finishes’

A visibly evident and olfactorily confirmed drunk Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL)...

Potato Head Tells Fox News They’ve Always Been Gender Fluid

In an interview on Fox News this morning, Potato Head confirmed...