Totally Bulls*it News

Oh Cool, I’m Blogging About Politics Again. Can Anyone Remember Why?

A long time ago, in a country that feels a million miles away now, I started this stupid little website because as I was...

President Biden Apologizes to Neanderthal Americans

"I didn't see a single Neanderthal at the January 6th insurrection."

Tom Cotton Says Democrat Votes Should Only Be Worth Three-Fifths of Republican Votes

The panic seems to have set in with Republicans because throughout the states.

Issa Wants to Investigate Why Liberals Canceled Mr. Potato Head’s Penis to Cover Up Benghazi

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During most of the Obama administration, there was...

President Manchin Decides the Plebs Don’t Need Living Wages

Most Americans might not have realized that Joe Manchin of West Virginia is the actual president.

Gaetz Plans to Fuck a Mrs. Potato Head While Reading Racist Dr. Seuss Books to Own the Libs

He's had it up to here with cancel culture, and Matt Gaetz is going to do the only thing he knows how in order to stop it: embarrassing himself.

Marjorie Taylor Greene Files Bill Legalizing Insurrections

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) filed articles of...

Republicans Race to Make Democrat Voting Illegal by 2024

How does a dying party stay relevant? Make it impossible for the other side to win, no matter how many votes they get.

Jim Jordan Says Parents Should Decide Which Seuss Books and KKK Pamphlets Their Kids Read

Ohio Q-publican Jim Jordan is sick and tired of the cancel culture, and he's ready to defend Seuss's racially insensitive materials.

Hawley Asks Wray to Blink Twice If The FBI Has Proof He’s a Traitor

Josh Hawley is really bigly concerned about the kind of information the FBI was able to find about him during the January 6th insurrection.