Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Matt Gaetz Can’t Believe Q Didn’t Tell Him Matt Gaetz is a Sex Trafficker

WHORELAND-O, FLORIDA -- Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) may or may not...

Trump Tells Maria Bartiromo He Still Hasn’t Accepted Results of Election or Insurrection

In a new interview with Fox News host Maria Bartiromo, former...

Ted Cruz Fell Asleep During Biden’s Speech and Had a Nightmare That People Actually Like Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During President Joe Biden's first joint address to...

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Crack Dealer Endorses Randy Quaid in Newsom Recall

LAKE AMPHETAMINE, GEORGIA -- Bill "Peach Dick" Kusinphuchre is known in...

Simon & Schuster Says Fact-Checked Kellyanne Conway Memoir Fits on Four Pages

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Former White House Senior Bullshit Adviser...

Dr. Joe Rogan, M.D. Leaving Harvard Medical School to Host “Fear Factor” Reboot

FORT SHITTFERBRAYNS, TEXAS -- A lot of Americans might not know...

He Owns the Libs by Refusing to Wear a Seatbelt or Get Covid Vaccine

"It just makes me feel good to do dumb shit to...