Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Left Behind Unpaid $1 Million McDonald’s Tab for Biden Administration

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Presidential transitions take time, and as such, it...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Musk Asked SNL to Bring on Babylon Bee Writers So Show Can Be One, Never-Ending Gender Identification Joke

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- If billionaires are known for anything,...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Matt Gaetz Can’t Believe Q Didn’t Tell Him Matt Gaetz is a Sex Trafficker

WHORELAND-O, FLORIDA -- Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) may or may not...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Tells Maria Bartiromo He Still Hasn’t Accepted Results of Election or Insurrection

In a new interview with Fox News host Maria Bartiromo, former...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Ted Cruz Fell Asleep During Biden’s Speech and Had a Nightmare That People Actually Like Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During President Joe Biden's first joint address to...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Hannity Slams Complete Sentences and Cogent Thoughts in Biden’s First Congressional Address

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News personality Sean Hannity was...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Son Called CPS Because Parents Were Watching Tucker Carlson

This week, sister publication The Political Garbage Chute reported on quite a noteworthy...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Crack Dealer Endorses Randy Quaid in Newsom Recall

LAKE AMPHETAMINE, GEORGIA -- Bill "Peach Dick" Kusinphuchre is known in...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Federal Agents Find $3 Million in Receipts for Gas-X and Just for Men in Giuliani’s Apartment

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This morning, federal agents served a...
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Totally Bulls*it News

Simon & Schuster Says Fact-Checked Kellyanne Conway Memoir Fits on Four Pages

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Former White House Senior Bullshit Adviser...
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