Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me He’d Prefer If MAGA Kept the Him Out of Christmas

"What do they even need with me, when they have that sausage-fingered rapist they clearly worship more than me anyway?" - Jesus Hubert Christ Don't...

Jesus Told Me He’d Prefer If MAGA Kept the Him Out of Christmas

"What do they even need with me, when they have that...

Stephen Miller’s Been Lobbying to Permanently Make Christmas “White”

"I personally haven't seen him this relentless about a subject since...

Melania, Jill, or Elon: Which First Lady is America’s Fave?

By our count, there have been at least twelve or thirteen...

My Town’s Local Rapist Has Big Dreams to Serve the President One Day

"...as a rapist, you're always worried that your reputation for raping...

Disney Tells Investors They’re Open to Removing “Woke” Christian Content

"...what's more woke than a long-haired socially liberal man in a...

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't...

Gaetz Out, Fogle In?

Upon hearing the news from his fellow inmates at Englewood Federal...

Leaked Email: Trump Will Make Musk U.S. Ambassador to Epstein Island

Presumably, there have to be some perks to buying the favor and attention...

Tesla is Rebranding the Cybertruck

...new features include the much-hyped "Incel-erator," which  replaces the accelerator, satellite...

Musk’s Apparently Convinced Trump to Replace Air Force One With Epstein Air 69

Well, that didn't take long, and maybe I owe Elon Musk...