Totally Bulls*it News

President Musk Just Changed Every American’s Social Security Number to “69-X-DOGE-LOL”

"...a guy who writes for The Babylon Bee told me this is funny, right before I gave him a million bucks, so I know...

Facebook Facts: The Time Elon, Mark, Don, and Jeff Went Sailing

WARNING: This story is only true on Facebook, and other parts...

Pete Hegseth Told Me “Whiskey Dick” is His Best Defense Against Rape Allegations

"...honestly I was too blacked out to remember what happened that...

If They Can’t Share the Social Media Landscape, Can Elon and Mark Share Trump’s Taint?

For many Americans, since the election's results were called back in...

White House Announces Felon Work-Release Program

"Convicted felons will also be allowed in the Oval Office...because the...

Elon Told Me He Invented the Presidency

After I changed my cell phone number this morning, it occurred...

Jesus Told Me He’d Prefer If MAGA Kept the Him Out of Christmas

"What do they even need with me, when they have that...

Stephen Miller’s Been Lobbying to Permanently Make Christmas “White”

"I personally haven't seen him this relentless about a subject since...

Melania, Jill, or Elon: Which First Lady is America’s Fave?

By our count, there have been at least twelve or thirteen...

My Town’s Local Rapist Has Big Dreams to Serve the President One Day

"...as a rapist, you're always worried that your reputation for raping...