James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
spot_img

Keep exploring

Alabama Grants Personhood to Precum

LAKE DORMIR AVEC LEURS COUSINS, ALABAMA -- Republicans in the State of Alabama have...

Fully Engorged Mike Pence Just Staring at Maps of Alabama, Georgia, Ohio, and Missouri

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Mike Pence has spent the last 36 solid hours...

Alabama Democrat Proposes Mandatory Vasectomies Until Marriage

RÉCIPROQUE BAY, ALABAMA -- A Democrat in the State of Alabama has drafted new...

ISIS Asks Alabama GOP to Help Write Their New Abortion Laws

UNDISCLOSED BUNKER, SOMEWHERE IN SYRIA -- A spokesterrorist for ISIS gave a press conference...

Alabama’s Women Have 24 Hours to Register Their Womb in New Uterine Database

COUSINFUCKERS, ALABAMA -- Women in Alabama have roughly one day to get their genitals...

Amazon Offers Same-Day Coat Hanger Deliveries to Alabama, Georgia, Ohio

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Amazon has announced that will now offer same-day delivery of certain...

Huge Queues Already Forming in Most Alabama Alleyways

PORT ENFANT DU VIOL, ALABAMA -- The State of Alabama has issued an emergency...

Stephen Miller Assures Red State Lawmakers Migrant Children Don’t Have Human Heartbeats

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a call with lawmakers from every state won by Donald...

Incel Supports Alyssa Milano’s Sex Strike

BONE DRY FLATS, ARKANSAS -- Cal Worley is an incel. That is to say...

Pro-MAGA Musician Drops New Country Single and Video: “I F**k The Flag”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- A pro-Trump singer/songwriter on the Confederate Records label has...

Mike Pence Warns Christian College Grads to Be Prepared to ‘Defend Your Theocratic Fascism With All Your Cold Heart’

SHITSBURG, VIRGINIA -- Vice President Mike Pence warned a group of graduates from Y'all...

Ben Shapiro Admits He Gets a Little Bigger Kick out of Owning the Black Libs

THE MERRY OLD RED STATE OF OZABAMA -- Right-wing alleged intellectual Ben Shapiro is...

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...