James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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God Clarifies Trump is the ‘Chosen One to Warn Others Not to Become Fat, Slovenly, Racist Morons’

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Today, in what would be bizarre moment in literally...

Denmark Says Greenland Will Be For Sale When Donald Trump Jr. Can Spell It

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Citing the fact that it was a day that ended in...

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Starts Charity to Rebuild Burned Down Childhood Belfry

PIG SLOP CROTCH, ARKANSAS -- Former White House Propaganda Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders has...

Babylon Bee Moves Corporate Headquarters to Gilead

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News of Planned Parenthood Refusing Federal Funding Sparks Impromptu Spank-Off Between Pence, Santorum

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice-President Mike Pence and failed presidential candidate, former Senator Rick Santorum...

Study Shows Being Female Still #1 Risk Factor Associated With Seeing Dicks You Didn’t Ask to See

SCHVANTZ LAKE, MINNESOTA -- A research study conducted by the University of East Minnesota...

Scientists Can Finally Prove Which Trump Can Outsmart a Bag of Hammers

After years of speculation and wonder, scientists at a leading research lab have published...

God Says He’s Getting a Lot of Prayers About Mitch McConnell Having a Stroke

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- The CEO of Holy Trinity Inc., one of the...

New York Offers to Rename Public Toilet After Trump

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Perhaps in an attempt to quell a growing controversy...

Trump Writes “I’m Not Racist!” on the Back of Barack Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate and Mails It to Central Park 5

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The issue of whether or not President Donald J. Trump is...

Trump Pardons Booth

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2018, former reality-TV star Donald Trump issuing a full presidential...

President Promises TrumpCare Will Cover ‘Non-Existing Conditions’

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Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....