James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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Trump 2020 Campaign Will Use Flaming T’s to Help His Base Find Their Polling Station

WASHINGTON, D.C.  -- The reelection campaign  headquarters for President Donald Trump announced that they...

John Bolton and Lindsey Graham Hold Hands As They Daydream About Invading Greenland

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Photographers in the nation's capital captured an intimate, and what one...

President Runs Out of Dipping Sauce and Declares ‘National McNugget McMergency’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that this morning, at...

A New York City Petition to Rename Landfill After Donald Trump Has Over 3 Million Signatures

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- A petition making the rounds in the Big Apple...

NRA to Open Virginia “Gun Land” Amusement Park for Kids

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- The National Rifle Association announced plans this week to build a...

A Complete List of Billionaire Pedophile Illegal Immigrant Mass Shooters in the News This Week

In the last two weeks, there have been at least three high-profile mass shootings,...

Greenland Asks Trump How He Can Afford to Buy Them Without a Loan from His Dad or Putin

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, our sister publication Alternative Facts, published a report that President...

Greenland Tells Trump They’re Not Ready to Be Run Into the Ground and Driven Into Bankruptcy Quite Yet

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States has received an official communique...

Trump Unveils New 2020 Campaign Slogan: “Make the South Rise Again”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump  held a rally recently, and while the next...

If Re-Elected, Trump Could Tap David Duke as Secretary of Race War

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 1947, the Department of War was closed down, and its...

Trump Asks if Israel Would Like a Visit from Some “Very Fine People” from Charlottesville Instead of the Squad

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump reached out to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu...

Trump Supports Netanyahu’s Islamophobic Response to Fictional Anti-Semitism of “The Squad”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has been waging a war against "The Squad"...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....