James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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Man Chanting ‘Send Her Back’ Can’t Locate His Home State on a Map

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Last night, right-wing podcaster, commentator, and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins...

Mexican Government Releases Detailed Audit of How Much They’ve Paid for Trump’s Wall So Far

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The federal government of Mexico has published an extremely detailed...

Trump Hires Goon to Steal Greenland From Denmark and Hide It In the Alamo Basement

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump, having been rebuffed on multiple occasions by Denmark...

Senator Lindsey Graham Demonstrates How Much He’s Willing to Suck Up to Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whatever happened between the 2016 presidential primary season and today, the...

Emergency Crews Working To Remove Jeff Sessions From Package of E.L. Fudge Cookies

When an accident occurred at the Keebler cookie company, Attorney Jeff Sessions needed some quick rescuing.

Trump Calls Domino’s Pizza “The Enemy of the People” for Forgetting His Hot Wing Dipping Sauce

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The list of people, businesses, and government officials who President Donald...

Trump Hereby Orders Burger King to Always Give Him Extra Ketchup Packets

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Trump broke yet new rhetorical ground in his presidency....

Intellectual Titan Joe Rogan Shows America How Fun Nazis Can Be When They’re High As Fuck

ANABOLIC VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- In 2014, former reality-TV host and alleged comedian Joe Rogan...

Trump: “David Koch Would Have Never Died If He’d Donated to My Campaign”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking to reporters from the lawn of the White House, Marine...

David Koch’s Estate Sale to Include Several Republican Politicians

GALT, KANSAS -- Billionaire industrialist and Republican mega-donor David Koch passed away after a...

For Some Reason, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Pretty Confident She Can Lie for Donald Trump on Fox News

PIG SLOP CROTCH, ARKANSAS -- Sarah Huckabee Sanders is going to be a Fox...

Trump Issues Executive Order for Bible Publishers to Delete Commandment Forbidding False Idols

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, during an impromptu press conference and rant session, President...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....