James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
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Classic TV Show Being Rebooted, Will Focus on Trump Administration

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- During the decade known as the 1980's, there were many hit...

NBC To Put Trump Trigger Warning Before Every Episode Of Saturday Night Live

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Since becoming President, Donald Trump has tweeted his displeasure...

Tennessee Man Sues El Pollo Loco To Change Name to “Crazy Chicken”

One man in Tennessee is fighting against immigration reform in a most unusual way.

Pat Robertson: “If The Florida and Puerto Rico Gays Stop Having the Sex With Each Other, We Might Stop Hurricane Dorian!”

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson told his telecongregation this morning that he...

Hurricane Dorian Makes Preemptive Strike Against U.S. Nuclear Arsenal

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the Pentagon is confirming that the...

Trump Says Next G-7 Should Be Held in Russian Bathhouse

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, President Trump took part in the G-7 summit. The...

Bush Says Trump Should Know How to Pronounce ‘Nookular Weapons’ Before He Uses Them on Hurricanes

CABEZA MIERDA, TEXAS -- Former President George W. Bush left the public spotlight in...

NASA Still Unable To Locate Edge Of Trump’s Stupidity

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scientists at NASA have yet to locate the edge of Donald...

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: “Cancer Can’t Make Me Resign Until It Leaves The Oval Office First”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg underwent three weeks of medical...

Ben Carson and Betsy DeVos Convince White House to Rush Thousands of Rakes to Amazon Headquarters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House has issued an order to the United States...

Trump: “I Didn’t Consider Nuking Hurricanes Because Everyone Knows You Nuke Tornadoes”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This past weekend, Axios published a story that suggested President Donald Trump has...

Man Chanting ‘Send Her Back’ Can’t Locate His Home State on a Map

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Last night, right-wing podcaster, commentator, and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins...

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...