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Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Criminal Justice
Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?
"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
May 17, 2024
U.S. Politics
A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden
"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
May 15, 2024
MAGA News
John Kelly Assures Trump He Won’t Be Only Misogynist Woman Abuser In White House For Too Long
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, after two of his ex-wives came forward with allegations that...
February 8, 2018
Immigration
White House Relieved Kentucky School Shooter Not Muslim Or Immigrant And Shooting Never Actually Happened
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite copious reporting of it, there was no school shooting in...
January 24, 2018
World News
Moscow Demands Trump Help End Putin’s Shadow Government Shutdown
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent a strongly worded letter to...
January 22, 2018
MAGA News
Sarah Huckabee Sanders Fails New Year’s Resolution To Stop Smoking Crack On First Day Back To Work
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last year was quite the whirlwind for Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee...
January 2, 2018
MAGA News
American Farmer Coalition: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Uses So Much Fertilizer It Threatens Crops
The American Farmer Coalition has issued a dire forecast of the nation's crops, literally...
December 11, 2017
MAGA News
Anthony Scaramucci Publishes “Not Much Happened,” A Memoir Of His Time In The White House
LONDON, ENGLAND -- Blue Lens Publishing has announced that they have struck a deal...
December 4, 2017
MAGA News
White House Thanksgiving Seating Chart Seats President Trump At Kids’ Table
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Preparations are underway for a truly historic Thanksgiving dinner at The...
November 21, 2017
MAGA News
Sarah Huckabee Sanders Explains The Difference Between Bucket Of Shit And President
"I gotta try to polish this turd somehow guys."
November 18, 2017
MAGA News
Trump Wants His Bone Spurs Added To Vietnam War Memorial
"If we can't add them to the memorial, can I give them a presidential medal of freedom or some shit?"
November 13, 2017
MAGA News
Sarah Huckabee Sanders Blames Obama’s ‘Residual Sharia Voodoo’ For Republicans Losing Big In Virginia
"Frankly I'm disgusted The New York Times isn't asking former President Obama whether his Sharia Voodoo had a hand in Gillespie losing."
November 8, 2017
MAGA News
Trump Promises to Work With President of Texas to Help Survivors of Church Shooting
"Who am I talking to? The president! That's great! I'm the president too!"
November 7, 2017
MAGA News
Press Secretary Asks Congress if She Can Be Paid By The Lie
"I just think I'll make way more by volume that way."
November 2, 2017
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Latest articles
Criminal Justice
Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?
"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
May 17, 2024
U.S. Politics
A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden
"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
May 15, 2024
Criminal Justice
I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels
"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
May 10, 2024
Criminal Justice
Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?
"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
May 8, 2024
