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Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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John Kelly Assures Trump He Won’t Be Only Misogynist Woman Abuser In White House For Too Long

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, after two of his ex-wives came forward with allegations that...

White House Relieved Kentucky School Shooter Not Muslim Or Immigrant And Shooting Never Actually Happened

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite copious reporting of it, there was no school shooting in...

Moscow Demands Trump Help End Putin’s Shadow Government Shutdown

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent a strongly worded letter to...

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Fails New Year’s Resolution To Stop Smoking Crack On First Day Back To Work

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last year was quite the whirlwind for Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee...

American Farmer Coalition: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Uses So Much Fertilizer It Threatens Crops

The American Farmer Coalition has issued a dire forecast of the nation's crops, literally...

Anthony Scaramucci Publishes “Not Much Happened,” A Memoir Of His Time In The White House

LONDON, ENGLAND -- Blue Lens Publishing has announced that they have struck a deal...

White House Thanksgiving Seating Chart Seats President Trump At Kids’ Table

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Preparations are underway for a truly historic Thanksgiving dinner at The...

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Explains The Difference Between Bucket Of Shit And President

"I gotta try to polish this turd somehow guys."

Trump Wants His Bone Spurs Added To Vietnam War Memorial

"If we can't add them to the memorial, can I give them a presidential medal of freedom or some shit?"

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Blames Obama’s ‘Residual Sharia Voodoo’ For Republicans Losing Big In Virginia

"Frankly I'm disgusted The New York Times isn't asking former President Obama whether his Sharia Voodoo had a hand in Gillespie losing."

Trump Promises to Work With President of Texas to Help Survivors of Church Shooting

"Who am I talking to? The president! That's great! I'm the president too!"

Press Secretary Asks Congress if She Can Be Paid By The Lie

"I just think I'll make way more by volume that way."

Latest articles

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....