HomeTagsRand Paul

Rand Paul

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...
spot_img

White House Tells Paul They’ll Send KY the Bootstraps He Wanted to Send After Hurricane Maria

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Soon, thousands of bootstraps will be delivered to local emergency response...

Fauci: “Cruz Has the Same Punchablefaceitis That Rand Paul’s Neighbor Diagnosed Him With”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Ted Cruz and Sen. Rand Paul share something other than...

Rand Paul Self-Certifies as Lawyer, Says Nothing Wrong With Wife’s Stock Trade

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Doctor Rand Paul (Q-KY) and his wife might have been...

CDC Urges Americans Not to Take Advice From Self-Certified Eye Doctors With Punchable Faces

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for disease control is warning Americans this morning to...

Fauci Says Rand Paul’s Brain ‘Could Stand to Gain a Little Function’

The war of words and ill-will between one of the country's foremost immunologists and...

Fauci Asks Rand Paul When He Self-Certified as a Virologist

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There is no love lost between Dr. Anthony Fauci and Senator...

Fauci Nominated for Nobel Prize in Dealing With Criticism From Morons Who Couldn’t Do Your Job

The Nobel Prize Committee announced a new round of nominations for their highly sought...

Rand Paul Claims His ‘Turd Immunity’ Means He Doesn’t Need a COVID-19 Vaccine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Rand Paul (Q-KY) appeared on Fox News this morning and...

Fauci Suggests ‘Some Senators’ Wear a Mask to Hide from Punchy Neighbors

Giving an interview on CNN, Dr. Anthony Fauci suggested that even though the CDC...

Fauci Suggests a Lobotomy Might Cure Rand Paul’s ‘Bullshit-itis’

"And let me be crystal clear -- I only say 'might' because we have...

Fauci: “I Don’t Show Up Where Rand Paul Works and Tell Him How to Suck Trump’s Dong”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There is little to no love lost between Sen. Rand Paul...

Fauci Warns Rand Paul With or Without a Mask, People Can Still Tell He’s a ‘Twat-Waffle’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One thing has become increasingly clear over the last year --...

Latest articles

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...