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Kyle Rittenhouse

Religion

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity...
Arts & Entertainment

Once I Learned to Read, I Realized The Left Actually Can and Does Meme

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump White House official Dustin...
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Pew Pew!

Rittenhouse Offered to Shoot Someone on 5th Avenue for Trump During Their Mar-A-Lago Meeting

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDUH -- Former, one term, tiny-donged, daughter lusting, twice forever impeached President Don...
Criminal Justice

Who’s Most Innocent: OJ Simpson, Bill Cosby, George Zimmerman, or Kyle Rittenhouse?

Now that his trial has been concluded, and he has been set free, double-murderer...
Conservative Media

Kyle Rittenhouse and George Zimmerman Will Headline “Bushmaster/Skittles White Hood Comedy Tour”

Recently acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse will join fellow acquitted murderer George Zimmerman on what's...
Criminal Justice

Judge Schroeder Invites Rittenhouse Over for Thanksgiving Dinner

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- This morning, Alternative Facts reported that Wendy Rittenhouse, mother of acquitted murderer Kyle...
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse’s Mother Unsure Whether to Seat Him at Kids’ Table or Murderer’s Table

ORENTHAL, ILLINOIS -- For the first time in over a year, Wendy Rittenhouse will...
Criminal Justice

Wisconsin Legalizes Murder While White

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- Though it's not how laws are traditionally written in the state,...
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse Judge Asks Jury to End Deliberations So He and Kyle Can Attend Proud Boy Meeting

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- Judge Bruce Schroeder and accused vigilante double-murderer Kyle Rittenhouse have a...
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse Judge Instructs Jurors to Plug Ears, Shout ‘La La La’ During Prosecution’s Closing

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- As prosecutors in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial present their closing arguments,...
Criminal Justice

Trump Announces Next MAGA Rally Will Be Held in Rittenhouse Courtroom

FARTS-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Former, one term, twice-forever-impeached President Donald Trump announced plans to hold...
Pew Pew!

We Asked Doctors and EMTs to Explain How Rittenhouse Could Render First Aid With His AR-15

A key component of accused double-murderer Kyle Rittenhouse's defense has been painting the teenaged...
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse Fires Attorneys, Says Judge is Doing ‘Good Enough Job’ Without Them

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- In a stunning turn of events, accused double murderer Kyle Rittenhouse...
Criminal Justice

Judge: Prosecutors Can Only Call Rittenhouse a ‘Sweet White Boy Who Went Pew-Pew on Accident’

The judge presiding over the trial of accused murderous white nationalist vigilante Kyle Rittenhouse...
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Latest articles

Religion

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity...
Arts & Entertainment

Once I Learned to Read, I Realized The Left Actually Can and Does Meme

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump White House official Dustin...
Lifestyle

God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools

"...do they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of...
U.S. Politics

Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions

Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)