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A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
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Criminal Justice

Trump: ‘There Are Good People On Both Sides Of Robert Mueller’s Indictments’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, while watching Fox News in the...
MAGA News

‘Kellyanne, What Language Do They Speak in Argentina?’ asks Trump as Charges Announced in Mueller Probe

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Marking a major day in the ongoing investigation into the Trump...
MAGA News

Study Shows 92% of Trump Supporters Have Larger Shoe Size Than IQ

"If they said they were voting for Trump and we measured their shoe size, it always came back higher than their IQ."
MAGA News

Putin Disappointed Trump Doesn’t Look Like His Online Dating Pic

When Putin Met Trump...he wasn't all that happy with what he saw. Can't say we blame him.
MAGA News

White House Cleaning Staff Find Trump’s Comey Tapes Underneath Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate

The whole world has been wondering if or when Donald Trump would release recordings of his conversations with James Comey.
MAGA News

Birther and 9/11 Truther Dubious About ‘Fake News’ of Russia/Trump Collusion

If there was any collusion between Russia and the Trump campaign, this right-wing podcaster just doesn't see it. So stop trying, libtards.
MAGA News

Sen. John McCain, Lindsey Graham Threaten to Wag Their Fingers ‘Super Duper Hard’ At Trump This Time

McCain and Graham are not happy with how the president is behaving, and they're almost willing to do something real about it.
MAGA News

Local Confederate Flag Defender Really Tired Of ‘Libtards Not Accepting’ President Trump

Clem O'Connell loves his confederate flag, and he's very angry that liberals haven't accepted President Trump's election yet.
MAGA News

Trump Wants Voter Fraud Investigation Because Even He Doesn’t Believe So Many People Were Dumb Enough To Vote For Him

President Donald Trump wants a "major investigation" into whether or not there was widespread voter fraud committed in last year's election.
MAGA News

Putin: Donald And I Are Saving Each Other For Our Inauguration Day

Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump want to have a very special relationship these next few years, so they are taking their time.
MAGA News

Trump Admits Wanting To Know What Vladimir Putin’s Dick Tastes Like

Donald Trump is focusing on beefing up his foreign policy chops, starting with getting to the bottom of the taste of Vladimir Putin's penis.
MAGA News

Trump Will Ask Congress For Law Mandating He Gets To Take It All With Him

It may easier to thread the eye of the needle than for him to get into heaven, but Trump wants to get his riches through that eye too.
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U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)