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Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
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MAGA News

Election Day: Voters Head to Polls During Final 24-Hours of Coronavirus Pandemic

Today, millions of Americans will stand in lines, sometimes for hours, to cast their...
MAGA News

Cruz Awaits Poll Closings and News About Whether His Wife Will Be Ugly Another Four Years

FUCKFACE, TEXAS -- Canadian-born-Super-Texan-Cowboy-Elite-Ivy-League-Lawyer Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) told his staff this morning during...
U.S. Politics

Putin Wonders If He’ll Be Batting a Thousand or .500 After Votes Counted

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Sitting beside a roaring fire, Russian President Vladimir Putin held court...
U.S. Politics

Trump Demands States Only Tally Biden Votes as High as His Base Can Count

PEWP'S PASS, PENNSYLVANIA -- There are just a matter of hours before Election Day,...
MAGA News

Win or Lose, Trump is Entitled to Secret Service Protection and Lindsey Graham BJs For Life

The truth is, despite the punditry class and America's elected officials' high-volume assertions, nobody...
MAGA News

Trump: “When You Look At Countries Called The United States, We’re Doing the Best”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a new interview with Fox News host Maria "Fartin'' Bartiromo,...
MAGA News

Biden Supporters Surround Trump Bus and Tell It How to Get to Sesame Street

CHINGADAS, TEXAS -- A tense situation in Texas has resolved itself, and the occupants...
Lifestyle

Mother Checks Purse for Drugs Before Taking Her Kids Trick or Treating

STINK NUT FALLS, IDAHO -- 35 year old Shelly Skalski is just about to...
Criminal Justice

Biden Plans to Deploy Official Democrat Antifa Squads In the Event of Post-Election Civil Unrest

SCHLANGE LAKE, FLORIDA -- Just after concluding a campaign stop in Florida this morning,...
MAGA News

On Her 39th Birthday, Ivanka’s Just One Year From Being Traded For Younger, Hotter Daughter

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told his First Lady that while he wanted...
Sports

President Declares Tampa Bay Rays Winners of World Series ‘By Electoral College Rules’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Los Angeles Dodgers capped off a season for the ages,...
MAGA News

Ivanka: “America Needs the Leadership of Small Hands and Even Smaller Genitals”

OLD BALLS, FLORIDA -- Addressing a rally for her father, held in a small...
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Latest articles

Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)