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Black Lives Matter

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
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Walking, Talking BM Trash Talks BLM

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A walking, talking bowel movement took to the floor of the...

Ron Johnson: “I Shouldn’t Have to Take My Hood and Robes Off to Prove I’m not Racist!”

"What makes me racist is my racist views of non-white people! But I didn't even say any of that stuff on the radio last week!"

Louisville DA: “Black Lives Matter, But Drywall Matters Enough to Charge Someone”

LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY -- A night of civil unrest in Louisville unfolded yesterday after it...

Tomi Lahren Is Publishing a List of Acceptable Ways for Black People to Protest Being Murdered

BROKE WIND MOUNTAIN, CALIFORNIA -- From a secluded cabin in the mountains of Southern...

NYC Offers to Paint “Orange Lies Matter” in Front of Trump Tower Instead

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The City of New York has extended an offer...

An Angry, Racist, Orange Bag of Diarrhea Will No Longer Voice the Character of Donald Trump

Last week, a handful of white actors and actresses gave up their roles in...

Adorable! This Cop Just Tear-Gassed The Protesters He Knelt With Less Than 12 Hours Ago!

This is one of the cutest things you'll ever see, and we're not even...

Tucker Carlson Adds Two Ks to First Name

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Tucker Carlson is no stranger to...

Trump Orders Dave Chappelle Arrested for Slaying Candace Owens

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told reporters this morning that he has directed...

Trump to Rename Military Bases After Hitler, Mussolini, and Hirohito

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Protests over the killing of George Floyd, an unarmed black suspect...

Basic White Woman Who’s Never Interacted With Cops Against Defunding Them

LAS ESTUPIDAS BLANCAS, CALIFORNIA -- 38 year old cosmetics consultant Christiana Vacaciones says she...

Cop Would Rather Resign and Only Beat His Wife If He Can’t Have a Tank and Machine Gun At Work

KEITEL, MINNESOTA -- Lt. Chad Jughedd is "about as pissed off" as he's ever...

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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...