NEW YORK, NEW YORK — President Donald Trump gave one of the most bizarre, careening, at times almost incoherent press conferences any world leader has ever given, this week during a meeting of the United Nations Security Council. Don’t try to convince Sean Hannity of that fact; he dedicated the entire first block of programming on his Fox News show to the sole purpose countering that narrative.
“Folks, the liberal, LAMESTREAM press is going to tell you that press conference was an abomination,” a wall-eyed Hannity began the segment last night. “They’ll tell you it was rambling, incoherent, and shameful. They’ll tell you that he seemed unintelligent, uninformed, and extremely defensive.”
Hannity paused, and puffed on an e-cigarette before continuing.
“And if you believe your eyes and ears, sure that’s what you’ll hear too, prolly,” Hannity said. “I’m here to tell you right here, right now, don’t believe anyone, not even your own lying eyes and ears. That U.N. press conference was totally normal.”
Another pause and a puff.
“I’ll say it again — that U.N. press conference was totally normal,” Hannity said. “That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal.”
Hannity took a call. It was President Trump.
“Sean, I don’t think the people out there heard you. Could you tell them what that press conference was again, please,” Trump asked.
Hannity puffed the e-cigarette again. He took a deep breath, and said it again in the same dull monotone.
“That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal,” Hannity said. “That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal.”
Hannity puffed again.
“That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal. That U.N. press conference was totally normal,” Hannity said.
For the rest of the entire segment, and at random times until the episode was finished, Hannity repeated the same phrase.
“That U.N. press conference was totally normal,” Hannity said as he closed out his show last night. “And again, in case you’re just tuning in, good night, and that U.N. press conference was totally normal.”
James‘ satire is found on: The Political Garbage Chute; HuffPost, Alternative Science, Alternative Facts, Not Really.News, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts, and Modern Liberals.
