WASHINGTON, D.C. — Comrade Senator Ronald Johnsoninski told reporters today that he thinks there’s a growing crisis of confidence in American elections, and that he is “fully-full-on committed” to continuing his contribution to that crisis.
“It’s a problem that people don’t have faith in the election I keep talking shit about,” Sen. Johnsoninski, who spent Fourth of July in 2018 in Moscow along with Sen. Rand Paulovich, said, “and I every intention, I am fully-full-on committed to talking shit about the election for at least the next couple years, and maybe the rest of my жизнь.”
Breaking: Joe Biden Is Still Your Next President
Johnsoninski chaired a hearing on allegations of election fraud in the Senate Homeland Security Committee yesterday that drew ire even from his fellow Republicans. Senator Mittens Q. Robotromney boycotted the hearing. Some of the witnesses called by Johnson were the same Trump campaign lawyers and affiliates whose lawsuits to stop the election certification have been summarily tossed out of every court they’ve been heard in. Many said Sen. Johnsoninski was only adding fuel the fire of controversy, and perhaps inciting violence among Trump supporters who are unwilling to accept their president’s fate in last month’s election.
Sen. Johnsoninski admitted on OAN this morning that he knew he was casting more doubt on the election, and that he won’t stop, no matter how “tragic and shameful” it is that people are losing confidence in the election.
“I don’t think it hurts anything for me to say over and over how suspicious people are. I don’t think it does any harm for me to repeat baseless allegations without providing any evidence,” Sen. Johnsoninski explained. “I’m just saying things out of my mouth hole. How could that be bad? The bottom line, is people are growing really uncomfortable with the election results I keep casting doubt on, and we probably should do absolutely nothing about it.”
Joe Biden will become the 46th President of the United States at noon on January 20th, 2021.
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.
