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Trump Assures Governors He Stands Ready to Take Credit for Their Hard Work Battling...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a call with the nation's fifty governors, President Trump assured each state's chief executive that he is "standing by" and...
Hannity Accuses Fauci of Being Part of ‘Deep State Plot’ to Make Trump ‘Look...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- On his radio show this morning, Fox News host Sean Hannity told listeners that he's starting to believe Dr....
Jesus Still Doesn’t Know Why Everyone Calls the Day He Was Executed “Good Friday”
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- A visibly annoyed Jesus Hubert Christ, son of Larry "God" Schumway, told a gaggle of heavenly reporters this morning...
Dr. Dumbfuck and Nurse Stupid-Ass Prescribe Hydroxychloroquine for Every American
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Dr. Moron T. Dumbfuck and his steady, faithful servant Nurse Billy Q. Stupid-Ass are undeniably two of the most important medical...
Summer’s Eve To End Donald Trump Signature Line Of Products
After Nordstrom's and other retailers drop their ties to his daughter, Summer's Eve has decided to cut its Donald Trump line.
Local MAGA-Boy Confused How He Got ‘The COVID’ After Taking Trump’s Snakeoil for Three...
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-ing Youtube star, podcaster, singer/songwriter and frequent AltFacts video segment contributor Jethro Bohiggins announced this weekend that he's beed...
Pro-Life Supreme Court Justices Rule ‘Not So Much’ When It Comes to Wisconsin Voters
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a 5-4 decision split down ideological lines, the United States Supreme Court issued an exceedingly rare "Not So Much" ruling...
Mike Pence Went Looking for Coronavirus Videos But Accidentally Watched Pornhub for 12 Hours
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that Vice President High Priest Mike Pence has spent approximately the last twelve hours...
Coronavirus Quarantine Forces Trump to Officially Move Easter to June 5th
WASHINGTON, D.C -- This weekend, President Donald J. Trump extended the federal stay-at-home guidelines for combating the pandemic spread of the novel coronavirus until...
Pat Robertson Blames Coronavirus on 2015 Supreme Court Gay Marriage Decision
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- The United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality almost five years ago, and it's taken that long...
