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Update: Stephen Miller is Still a Bald, Racist Cunt
When one thinks back on the four year diarrhea buffet that was the Trump administration, it's hard not to, at some point, think about...
Tucker Carlson Adds Two Ks to First Name
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Tucker Carlson is no stranger to controversy, to put it lightly. His show isn't even new...
Trump Orders Dave Chappelle Arrested for Slaying Candace Owens
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told reporters this morning that he has directed Attorney General William Barr to file criminal charges against comedy...
MAGA Boy to Explain Why He’s Not In Death Cult After Injecting Lysol &...
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer-songwriter Jethro Bohiggins is not in a "death cult," he told his audience this weekend, and...
ISIS Claims Responsibility for Coronavirus Quarantine Protests
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION -- The terrorist organization known as ISIS has released a new video in which they claim responsibility for what they're calling the...
Trump Campaign Sells Out $500 Candles That Smell Like President’s Butthole
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump 2020 Re-Election campaign announced this weekend that they have completely sold out of a special candle that was offered...
Trump Suggests Using Windmill Cancer Treatments to Fight Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For several days, and even a few weeks, President Donald Trump urged Americans and medical professionals to consider using the drug hydroxychloroquine...
Trump Demands Obama’s Long Form Biden Endorsement
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, former President Barack Obama endorsed the presidential campaign of his Vice President, Joe Biden. In a video more than ten...
Dr. Dumbfuck and Nurse Stupid-Ass Prescribe Hydroxychloroquine for Every American
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Dr. Moron T. Dumbfuck and his steady, faithful servant Nurse Billy Q. Stupid-Ass are undeniably two of the most important medical...
Conservative Still Searching for the Word “Capitalism” in Constitution
LAKE BOOTRIEMEN, MICHIGAN -- For the last 25 years, Jack Mincer has been scouring the Constitution of the United States of America for one,...
