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God Sent 40 Million Prayers for Donald Trump Straight to Voicemail
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This past weekend, Franklin Graham called for a "Special Day of Prayer" for President Donald J. Trump. Mr. Trump...
Alabama Attorney General ‘Looking Into’ Prosecuting God for Miscarriages
LAKE SACDEDOUCHE, ALABAMA -- Alabama's governor has reportedly ordered her state's Attorney General to investigate the constitutionality of prosecuting God for any miscarriages that...
GA Lawmaker: Rape Pregnancies Are ‘God Putting One In You’
CHARLESTON, W. VIRGINIA -- In 2015, West Virginia Delegate Brian Kurcaba (R) made some eyebrows climb in the national media when he said that while "rape...
Pat Robertson Warns: God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep...
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop letting the gays get married, or else God will flood...
IRS and God Confirm: Trump Is Equally as Christian and Billionaire
In a rather unforeseen twist, God and the Internal Revenue Service have issued a joint press release this morning. The press release comes in...
Pat Robertson Says God Wouldn’t Have Let Notre Dame Burn If It Was In...
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist and living fossil record Pat Robertson told a podcast audience today that if the famous Notre Dame cathedral had...
Alabama Supreme Court Rules God is Real-All Citizens Must Obey
Montgomery, AL -- The Alabama Supreme Court ruled 8-1 in favor that God is real and that the citizens of the conservative state must...
Barr Writes Four Page Summary of Book of Genesis Exonerating God for Great Flood
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr held a press conference at the Department of Justice this morning and presented to the American people...
God Orders Recall of Bibles Autographed by Trump
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Larry "God" Schumway has announced an immediate and emergency recall of every Bible signed by President Donald Trump during...
God Denies Any Collusion With Trump Campaign
HEAVEN -- God has issued a statement distancing herself from the Donald Trump presidential administration.
"Um. No. I didn't pick that douche. But LOL to...
