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Pat Robertson Says COVID-19 is God’s Punishment for Supreme Court’s Marriage Equality Decision
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- The United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality almost five years ago, and it's taken that long...
Alabama ‘Looking Into’ Prosecuting God for Miscarriages
LAKE SACDEDOUCHE, ALABAMA -- Alabama's governor has reportedly ordered her state's Attorney General to investigate the constitutionality of prosecuting God for any miscarriages that...
Update: There Are Still LEGO On The Goddamned Floor
EL PIESANGRIENTO, CALIFORNIA -- Sources are confirming at the time of publications that, despite several pleas, hints, and even commands, there are still LEGO...
Pat Robertson: God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting...
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop letting the gays get married, or else God will flood...
POLL: Most Americans Hope Sanders and Warren Fans Remember How God Awful Trump Is
A new poll released this morning shows that the overwhelming majority of Americans aren't taking a side in a brewing dustup between two leading,...
God Says Trump is the ‘Chosen One to Warn Others Not to Become Slovenly,...
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This past August, in what would be bizarre moment in literally any other period in American history, a sitting...
God Clarifies Trump is the ‘Chosen One to Warn Others Not to Become Fat,...
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Today, in what would be bizarre moment in literally any other period in American history, a sitting president called...
God Says He’s Getting a Lot of Prayers About Mitch McConnell Having a Stroke
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- The CEO of Holy Trinity Inc., one of the afterlife's premier eternal timeshare resorts, told heavenly reporters today that...
Conservative Christian: Rape Pregnancies Are ‘Just God Putting One In You’
CHARLESTON, W. VIRGINIA -- In 2015, West Virginia Delegate Brian Kurcaba (R) made some eyebrows climb in the national media when he said that while "rape...
Pat Robertson Says California Earthquake Was God Clapping for Trump’s 4th of July Parade
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Though he didn't give his Independence Day speech until hours later after the initial shockwaves subsided, President Donald Trump triggered...
