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White House Wants Bill Outlawing Abortion After Point Of Erection
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a prayer breakfast in the nation's capital today, the country's vice president and official high religious inquisitor told attendees that...
Coronavirus Qurantines Itself From Ted Cruz
TEXAS -- A spokesperson for the novel coronavirus issued a statement this morning announcing that her client had decided to self-quarantine from Sen. Ted...
Mike Pence Was Looking for Coronavirus Videos and Accidentally Watched Pornhub for 12 Hours
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that Vice President High Priest Mike Pence has spent approximately the last twelve hours...
She Didn’t Want to Be a Bernie Bro, She Was Just 22 and Liked...
Kirsten Tomjanovich is a Bernie Bro. Yes, she's biologically a female, and identifies as such, but Kirsten is, undeniably, a Bernie Bro. At least...
Bloomberg Grateful for Chance to Spend Fortune on Campaign Rather Than Helping Poor People...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- With Super Tuesday in the books, the race for the Democratic Party's nomination is starting to really take shape....
Man: “You’re Voting for the Wrong Person You Fucking Idiot”
The following is an editorial opinion piece written by Dick Whistler, a local man who has all sorts of political opinions that he feels...
Man Wonders What Would Happen If Everyone Who Said Sanders Can’t Win Voted Blue...
FT. MODERATION, IDAHO-- Tyler Pessimistanto is a 38 year old American voter, and a registered Democrat. He wasn't always a Democrat. In his lifetime,...
The Donald’s Campaign Unveils New MAGA Hoods
Have you seen the newest Trump hat?
Mike Pence Orders CDC to Quadruple Thought and Prayer Capacity to Combat Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As his first official act in the capacity of overseeing the country's response to a potential coronavirus update, Vice President High...
Mike Pence Listening to Low-Volume Porn on Headphones But Tells Mother It’s ASMR
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- He doesn't like to do it; in fact, he loathes it every time he has to. That doesn't change the fact...
