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For Security Purposes, Biden May Be Given Oath of Office in a High School...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After last week's deadly domestic terror attack on the U.S. Capitol, authorities in charge of next week's inauguration of Joe Biden...
Gold Digging Racist Asshole Has Lost All Interest in Pretending to Be First Lady
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of the world's most famous gold miners -- who also happens to be a racist birther -- has told her...
Parler Now Being Hosted on Klansman’s Tandy 1000
The alt-right social media app Parler was taken offline when Amazon Web Services canceled their account. It was an action that left thousands of...
Obama Hopes Biden Remembers How to Take Everyone’s Guns, Jobs, and Bibles
UNDISCLOSED SHARIA COMMIE SOCIALIST BUNKER, SOROSLAND -- It's been four long years since Agenda 666 has been implemented, and former President Barack HUSSEIN Obama...
Biden Still Has Not Announced An Ambassador to Thighland
There are so many things for an incoming presidential administration to take care of. There are dozens and dozens of staff members and jobs...
Betsy Devos Confident She’s Leaving the Education Department in a ‘Much More Gooder Place’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- She was quite literally almost not confirmed, and for her entire tenure as this nation's Secretary of Education, wealthy Republican donor...
Matt Gaetz Blames Antifa for His Inability to Show Up To Work Sober
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A visually intoxicated Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Trump's Taint) told reporters today that he "mostly blames Antifa" for the attack carried out...
Biden Says He’ll Nominate Abrams for “Secretary of Whatever the Fuck She Wants”
In just 14 days, Joe Biden will become the 46th President of the United States of America. When that happens, there can be no...
Mexico Issues $0.00 Check For Final Wall Payment
This story was first published on Alternatively Facts, and is reprinted below with their expressed, written permission.
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- When he ran for president...
Cruz Will Insist That Congress Certify He Has an Ugly Wife and No Balls
This story first appeared on The Pastiche Post and is reprinted with permission.
Before the 2016 presidential race, Ted Cruz had a wife named Heidi whose looks...
