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Man Finds Ted Cruz Drowning and Throws Him a Cement Life Preserver
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While it's not clear at this time exactly why Senator Ted Cruz went for a swim in the Potomac river last...
Marjorie Taylor Greene Files Articles of Impeachment Against Bernie Sanders Mitten Memes
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Not long before Joe Biden became the 46th President of the United States, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) was photographed sitting in...
No More Diet Cokes or Adderall at the Push of a Button in Biden’s...
WASHINGTON D.C. -- Amongst the many changes being made in the Oval Office, White House officials confirmed the removal of Donald Trumps “Diet Coke Button”,...
Radical Leftist Nails Kickflip, Supports Medicare for All
LOS AMIGOS ISQUERDOS, CALIFORNIA -- 22-year old Matt Robin is a radical leftist. At least that's what fans of his skateboarding career think. That's...
Biden Shuts Down Federal Research Into Windmill Cancer Vaccine
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The federal government will no longer be researching a windmill cancer vaccine, thanks to a new executive order signed by President...
McConnell Implores Schumer Not to Wield Power Unapologetically Like He Does
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the last decade or so, Mitch McConnell ran the Senate. He did so with such a lust and zeal for...
Devin Nunes Starting to Worry His Mouth is Stuck Like That
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For four years many people in Congressman Devin Nunes' life tried to warn him. His friends, both of them, tried to...
Palin Donates Half Her Brain to Boebert and Doubles Her Cognitive Capacity
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a stunning and unforeseen development, former half-term Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin has donated half her brain to freshman Congresswoman Lauren...
Closest McDonald’s Franchise to the White House Files Bankruptcy
CAPITOL HILL -- McDonald's general manager, Richard Reid, says with the former president leaving the White House, the restaurants future looks bleak.
"He was our...
Report: Sleepy Joe Woke Up This Morning and Sniffed The White House Air
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President "Sleepy" Joe Biden shocked millions of cultists still reeling from the stinging rebuke Biden's racist, incompetent, corrupt predecessor...
