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Warden Denies MTG Conjugal Visit With January 6th Attackers, Citing Illegality of Horse Fucking
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) is no stranger to being denied access to the people currently being held in federal...
Hawley’s Wife: He’s the Epitome of Masculinity, Even When She Dreams of Fucking Other...
Erin Hawley, wife of Senator and insurrectionist Josh Hawley (Q-MO), believes that her husband is the "walking, talking, living, and breathing epitome" of masculinity. Even...
Greene Accuses Biden of ‘Using Critical Race Theory’ to Remove “White” from “White Christmas”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) appeared on Steve Bannon's podcast today and floated a fresh conspiracy theory -- Joe Biden...
Biden Informs January 6th Insurrectionist He Can Pardon Turkeys, Not Lemmings
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Stretching back several decades, the sitting U.S. President has pardoned at least one turkey before the Thanksgiving holiday. Although President Biden...
Are Humans Capable of Chanting “Let’s Go Brandon!” Without Having a Lobotomy?
In certain parts of the Bible Belt and throughout Red America, chants of "Let's Go Brandon!" are breaking out at sporting events, church gatherings,...
Sinema Worries Her Party Might Try to Pass Its Agenda in Response to Youngkin...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A distraught Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (D?-AZ) told reporters as she arrived for work today that she is "extremely worried and afraid"...
Manchin: “If Rubbing Coal on My Balls Isn’t Doing Enough for Climate Change, That’s...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After a defeat for his party in Virginia, and with another potential loss still in the offing over in New Jersey,...
Super Brave, Heavily Armed Patriot Too Cowardly to Shout ‘Fuck Joe Biden!’ at NASCAR...
BEDFORD FOREST, MICHIGAN -- He estimates that he has roughly six dozen guns, though he brings in new weaponry to his militia's armory so...
Judge: Prosecutors Can Only Call Rittenhouse a ‘Sweet White Boy Who Went Pew-Pew on...
The judge presiding over the trial of accused murderous white nationalist vigilante Kyle Rittenhouse stunned prosecutors and millions of people on social media yesterday.
During...
8 Things Ted Cruz Has Defended More Rigorously Than His Own Wife
There are few men who are considered braver, or even as brave, as Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-TX).
Perhaps nobody knows the heights to which Ted's...
