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At Last, Our Long, National Infrastructure Week, Is Over
In the nation's capital yesterday, several Democrats and, notably, more than a dozen Republicans, joined President Joe Biden as he signed the country's biggest...
Don Jr: “If Joe’s So Good at Finishing What Daddy Couldn’t, Why Can’t He...
STUPID FUCKFACE, FLORIDA -- Taking time out during a golf tournament put on by some of the richest Republican donors in the country, Donald...
Man Sitting on Whoopie Cushion Briefly Worries Boebert’s Staff That Her Skull Had Popped
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Aides and staffers rushed to her side, and ultimately it was determined that she was in no immediate danger. However, Rep....
Rittenhouse Judge Instructs Jurors to Plug Ears, Shout ‘La La La’ During Prosecution’s Closing
KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- As prosecutors in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial present their closing arguments, jurors will not be permitted to listen to them. Judge...
Princess Celestia Declares Ivermectin Shortage in the Pony Realm
CANTERLOT, EQUESTRIA -- In an early morning press release issued today, Head of State Princess Celestia congratulated Big Bird on their recent vaccination.
"We celebrate...
Satan Offers to Send Emerald Robinson to Med School
HELL -- NewsMax reporter and chief White House correspondent Emerald Robinson was permanently banned from Twitter this week after she repeatedly shared false information...
Inspired by Cruz, Next Episode of “Sesame Street” Will Be Brought to You By...
Right from its inception, the educational television show "Sesame Street" has sought to inform and teach young kids about the world around them, as...
When Will Biden Officially Cancel Christmas This Year?
Everyone knows it's coming. The former president warned us -- only he could protect the most important day in the history of humanity from the savage...
Santa Claus Will Require Proof of Vaccination Before Delivering Toys This Year
THE NORTH POLE -- Elected officials like Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) and Rep. Marjhorsey Taylor Greene (Q-GA) are seething, lashing out on social media...
Big Bird Asks Big Dodo To Show Him How to Get to Cancun
Beloved children's performer Big Bird made national headlines this weekend when he posted a video to his social media accounts encouraging other children to...
