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Fox News Picks Up “Roseanne” For Season 11
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Under considerable pressure from President Donald Trump, Fox News announced this morning it was going to purchase the rights...
Ben Carson Warns Gina Haspel Against Ordering Expensive Office Torture Devices
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, President Donald Trump's controversial pick to lead the CIA, Gina Haspel, was confirmed by a thin, mostly party line...
Adult Film Actress Says Obama Secretly Helped Her Use Exchange To Get Health Insurance
THE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- An adult film star has revealed that she and President Donald Trump had a sexual affair that lasted months, even...
Kanye West Changes His Name To Uncle Tomye Ahead Of New Album Release
LA VALLE DE PRIVILEGIO, CALIFORNIA -- Rapper Kanye West has found himself in quite a unique place with the general public these last few...
Man Who Harassed Black Man About Non-Existent Kenyan Birth Certificate For A Decade Outraged...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump shocked the country when he used Twitter in an unhinged and angry rant. Trump rather uncharacteristically used...
North Korea Sends Draft Peace Deal To Ambassador Dennis Rodman For Input
This morning the leaders of North and South Korea set the world abuzz thanks to their historic peace summit, now underway on the Korean...
Rudy Giuliani Mentions 9/11 More Than 5000 Times In Three Minutes While Discussing Mueller...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- It was recently announced that former New York City Mayor Rudolph "Rudy" Giuliani is joining the legal team representing President...
Mother Earth Claims Credit For Threats On Scott Pruitt
THE MILKY WAY GALAXY -- Environmental Protection Agency administrator Scott Pruitt is under heavy fire from critics who claim he has wasted thousands, if...
Dr. Jenny McCarthy Hired As White House Special Counsel On Alternative Medicine
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced a new hiring today. Trump told reporters outside the White House that he was bringing on Dr....
Sinclair Broadcasting’s Robo-Anchor 5000 Says He Has Pre-Programmed Mind Of His Own
HUNT VALLEY, MARYLAND -- A viral video put together by Deadspin is making national headlines for demonstrating just how much synergy Sinclair Broadcasting expects, or rather...
