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Shop-Vac Building New Manufacturing Facilities in Georgia, Alabama, Missouri, Ohio
WILLIAMSPORT, PENNSYLVANIA -- Citing a "brand new, previously unforeseen need in the market," Shop-Vac will be building new manufacturing plants in Georgia, Alabama, Missouri,...
Doctors Marvel at Discovery of Vertebrate Republican
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the weekend, scientists and medical professionals were stunned, shocked, but ultimately quite excited about the re-discovery of a species of...
Alabama’s Women Have 24 Hours to Register Their Womb in New Uterine Database
COUSINFUCKERS, ALABAMA -- Women in Alabama have roughly one day to get their genitals and reproductive systems registered with the new statewide database of...
Huge Queues Already Forming in Most Alabama Alleyways
PORT ENFANT DU VIOL, ALABAMA -- The State of Alabama has issued an emergency injunction barring people from lining up in alleyways without getting...
Graham Says Barr Hearing ‘Really Tested’ His Gag Reflex
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, the Senate Judiciary Committee held a fiery, contentious hearing in which William Barr, Attorney General and personal defense attorney...
Confessions of a Liberal Baby Killer
Over the weekend, President Donald Trump held a klan campaign rally in Wisconsin. While Trump delivered his tirade speech, the White House Correspondents Association...
Stephen Miller Wants ‘Brown Skinned’ Americans to Wear Special Sombrero Patches
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- White House Nationalist Insecurity Adviser Stephen Miller is the man behind some of President Donald Trump's most controversial immigration policies, and...
Rudy Giuliani Tells Radio Host ‘There Was Nothing Wrong With a Man Taking His...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- President Donald Trump's lawyer, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani told a conservative radio host that "there was...
Betsy DeVos Devastated by ‘All the French Neutered Danes’ in Denmark
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump ordered that Education Secretary Betsy DeVos be given a mandatory refresher course in geography and reading comprehension...
Kirstjen Nielsen Filling Out Employment Application At On The Border Mexican Grill
GOLD HILLS, VIRGINIA -- Former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen will be in need of gainful employment very soon.
Last week, Nielsen was...
